Relaxation Meditation for Pregnancy after a Neonatal Loss, Miscarriage, Stillbirth.

(Picture is of a mother getting Reiki which is a very relaxing holistic therapy).

Being pregnant after a neonatal loss, miscarriage, or stillbirth can be one of the most stressful times for a mother. Because the unexpected pain and grief was the previous result women feel their innocence has been robbed. They loose trust in their bodies, mind, and in any higher power. There are studies that substantiate the more stress a mother is under the higher possibility of a negative outcome. It is essential for mothers to take their subsequent pregnancies one day at a time and reduce the stress in their lives. In reducing stress they should be able to regain trust in their bodies and the pregnant/ birthing process.

So how can I do that you ask yourself? The key is finding a way to quiet your mind. By doing this you are able to connect to your body and your baby. An effective way of doing this is through meditation, visualization, and hypnosis. Below is an example of a meditation that can be performed through out pregnancy. The benefits of this meditation is that it encourages self care, prenatal bonding, and allows you visualize a positive healthy pregnancy/birth.

In order to prepare for this meditation you should spend some time writing about:

• Why you wanted this baby?
• What type of parents you will be?
• Envision how your pregnancy and birthing will go (healthy, no bed rest, eating healthy, exercising, bonding with the baby, how long your birthing will take, the type of contractions you will feel etc.
• Do you feel safe, secure, and loved?
• Do you feel connected to your little one or do you have a protective shell built up?

Stretch out on your bed supported by body pillows so that you are comfortable. Breathe normally but focus on your breath in and out for about 10 breaths. This should have a calming effect on your anxiety and stress.

Now we want to relax your muscles from the top of your head, down to your feet.

Close your eyes and start by focusing on the muscles in and around your face. Feel each muscle around your eyes, cheeks, forehead, chin, and jaws completely becoming loose and limp. Feel the stress draining from your head down to your shoulders.

Now focus on your shoulders and feel the muscles begin to become fluid, free of resistance, completely relaxed. All tension draining from the shoulders down your arms, hands, and fingers. Feel the muscles in and around your abdomen beginning to relax like loose wet spaghetti noodles.

All tension is now draining from your abdomen down into your hips, and down now into your knees. Again your muscles, cells, and nerves all relaxing in harmony. Feeling the lovely feeling of the leisurely lulling of your body into a comfortable state of relaxation.

And the tension continues to drain from your knees down into your ankles and out the sole of your feet. Feel the tension draining out of your body and puddling into the ground below you, being absorbed and carried away into the ground.

Now with your muscles all relaxed I want you to focus on connecting and bonding with the little one inside of you. Place your hands on your abdomen and gently stroke your baby. Visualize their tiny body and see the beautiful glow of their aura melding with yours. Mentally I want you to visualize breathing into your little one. Your hands are the conductor of your feelings and you are sending your baby love, peace, joy, and calm. See in your minds eye your baby growing into a healthy and strong, vibrant being. They are serene, beautiful, and so full of love. Let your little one know how much they are wanted and that they are a sacred being with an important place here.

Visualize the birth going exactly as you have planned it to go. See the birthing going smoothly with no difficulties at all. If you are working with a midwife or OBGYN see them being surrounded by angels knowing they can easily manage the birth of your beautiful child. Decide now how long your birthing will last (5 hours, 10 hours)? What will you feel (numbing sensation, tightening, or something else)? Think about your journal and make decisions on what your birth will look like. This is your birth, take control here while meditating and see it, believe it, and know you are able to do this easily, comfortably, differently than in the past. Honor your past and acknowledge your little one lost but know this time your birthing will be different.

Now I want you to imagine holding your newborn baby in your arms and falling madly in love. You look beautiful, with glowing light all about you. Your eyes are sparkling and you feel relaxed, renewed, and confidant! You did this! You had your perfect birth – however you define it. You and your partner are holding your glorious baby in your arms. See yourself happy as can be knowing that you are a mother to this beautiful child.

Mentally commit to being the best parent you can be for this child. Know you are a loving and caring mother ready to meet the challenges of parenthood. Whenever you find yourself doubting about the pregnancy or birth go back to this mental picture. See yourself surrounded by white light holding you baby and sitting with your partner sharing the joy of the moment.

When you are ready……….return to watching your breath. Relax deeply and end your meditation.

I used this meditation when I was pregnant with Samantha and Isabella after the loss of Niko. It was an amazing powerful tool coupled with the Hypnosis and HypnoBirthing tools I learned.

Wishing you a peaceful and loving pregnancy and birth.

Love and Light,
Sharon Gourlay C.Ht, HBCE, HBIMI, RMT, BA