Sacred Family Meal Time

(I wrote this piece honoring the principals of eating whole food and fresh water, playing with our children, & setting our intentions in trying times as part of Brandy Astwoods Magical Mama Series).

When was the last time during the week your family sat down to a meal together? For that matter when was the last time you were able to eat without being interrupted by the television, sports schedules, brownies, or some church commitment?

In today’s world it is hard enough to coordinate our own schedules let alone that of a family. And as a result of our fast paced society we have lost the human communication connection that families once held sacred. Dinner time was a sacred celebration of the days events, sharing our dreams, and growing as a family while breaking bread. The resulting fracture in our family unit is children who are so busy running from event to event they don’t know who or where they came from as a family. So what can help bring our families back together?

The Family Dinner is a starting point for bringing us back to a strong, loving unit.

Have you heard of the phrase in the “African-American” culture – “soul food”? I was recently reading a book on rituals and there was an entire section devoted to mealtime rituals where they discussed the concept of “soul food”. “Soul food is food that is cooked with love, intent, intuition, and a sense of history. It is a living prayer a celebration, and has much to teach us”. Did you know nutritionists and psychologists have studied food to find that food freshly prepared and cooked lovingly by hand has more vital energy than processed factory food? One of their conclusions was that when you cook with love and eat with attention, you are taking in the very stuff of life. Remember Magical Mommas nourish their bodies with whole food and fresh water. And that should reflect our entire family unit too.

So how do we make meal times special, easy, and filled with “soul food”? This does not have to be an elaborate feast with new recipes, special plates, and only our Sunday finest. A simple meal of soup, salad, pasta, or even sandwiches can help us celebrate as families. Honoring the principals of the Magical Mommas (whole food), some simple suggestions that Jane Alexander gives in her book “Rituals for Sacred Living” are as follows:

• Pick fresh, seasonal, organic food.
• If you eat meat ensure it was farmed with care and consideration for the animals.
• Consider growing your own herbs in a window box.
• Say a prayer or blessing before eating (nurturing the soul).
• Think of your cooking as “sacred alchemy”. Jane Alexander suggests that we use all of the elements in our cooking –

EARTH- raw ingredients
WATER- in cooking
AIR- in stirring or beating foods
FIRE- through using the stove

• While cooking pour your hopes and wishes for the people who will be sitting down to eat with you. Focus your intention when you chop, stir, or blend. Remember that Magical Momma’s set their intentions in difficult situations. Use the family dinner to help soothe and smooth out problems in the family. Your loving energy and intentions will infuse the food laying the path for a difficult conversation or hopefully a positive interaction.
• Lay your table with care. Add the outside in through flowers, leaves, and even branches. Bringing nature inside adds a nice soothing touch. Involve your children by sending them out to pick flowers, leaves and other items for your “table scape” (this can be done the night prior to the dinner if short for time). You can even use Feng Shui to help set a harmonious mealtime table. Just a simple vase filled with one flower sets a mood.
• Serve your meal so that it looks inviting.
• Eat food mindfully, consciously, as a family. Eliminate distractions and turn off the phone and television. Your conversation at first may be a bit stiff. If so take some time to pick/write topics and put them into a jar. Each night choose a different topic. Soon the conversation will be flowing!
• Don’t race off after dinner is complete. Enjoy an evening of community as a family. Clear the dishes together and maybe break out the board games. Consider keeping the TV off all night and sharing a night together as a family.

Remember “Families are like fudge – mostly sweet with a few nuts". The glue that holds us together as a family is a combination of love, communication, and sheer determination. Erma Bombeck said it best “The family - We were a strange little band of characters trudging through life sharing diseases and toothpaste, coveting one another's desserts, hiding shampoo, borrowing money, locking each other out of our rooms, inflicting pain and kissing to heal it in the same instant, loving, laughing, defending, and trying to figure out the common thread that bound us all together”.

I can guarantee if you set up a regular schedule of sacred dinners, mixed with “soul food”, and a blessing you are going to see your family unit get stronger and find what binds them all together.

Much love and light you and your family!

Sharon Gourlay C.Ht., HBCE, HBIMI, BA, RMT

Conversation ~ So as a group have you tried this type of a family meal before? Can you give advice, suggestions, or ideas to other mothers on what worked well for you? If you try this idea will you report back and let us know how it goes? Did this change the energy dynamic in your family?

Read Rituals for Sacred Living By Jane Alexander (Available through Amazon in my online bookstore).